Lately, I've made it imperative to serve myself more instead of the usual "selflessness" I was accustomed to. I voiced my concerns about this since I'm naturally a helper but my counselor quickly reassured me that although it can seem selfish, you can meet others need better if your needs are met first. I didn't believe that junk that first time I heard it but I've made an effort to exercise that (with counseling and a help from a few amazing books) and I gotta say it's actually quite liberating. I have started writing daily again and I'm reading more often. I even feel on top of my homework since I'm not procrastinating. Today at work, I typed out a 7 page assignment that's due next month and I felt great afterwards (even though my eyes hurt from looking at the screen). It's just good to know I'm not putting things off. I have even been doing good about walking Dusty daily and today, we ran through ALL of my neighborhood. Usually, I cut it short cuz I'm tired after my 12 hour days of work and school. The only things I need to work on though and getting up earlier so I can meditate on my devotionals and Scripture and also squeezing in more time for guitar. I do both now but it feels rushed. My life is pretty boring lately but I feel in control and that's something I haven't felt in a while. As a result, I've been in better moods and have even gotten more generous. I've been good about my 10% gift to my favorite church. I haven't gone in a while but I give to Grace because I like to feel my money's going somewhere I'm familiar with. I've been doing it for the past 4 checks. It's routine and doesn't bother me one bit. I gave leftover tacos to a hobo and put "God bless :)" on the box and he sat down, smiled, and prayed. I treated my coworkers to some pizza and soda and I'm also discovering some amazing music (Marc Broussard!!:) ). Despite my doubts, fears, and bitterness, things feel okay. Productivity is both a good distraction and a God-given treasure.
'til next time, stay classy ♥