Wednesday, June 30, 2010

slight update.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

After weeks of misfortune with phones, I FINALLY have a fully functioning phone that I am satisfied with. I can now Facebook on the go again, haha.
You can call me old school if you want, but I love my Sidekick♥
After my Blackberry fucked up, I was gonna upgrade to HTC but I figured
I've been curious about Sidekicks since they first came out so I wanted to
get one before they come off the market for good. I designed the skin @
I also got two more.. not that you care though, haha. Go there if you like personalization
like I do.. it's cheap and it's
badass. :) Enough about phones though..

So I have a little over a week now at Guitar Center.
It's pretty chill. Get paid to be eye candy to all the horny old men & musicians and verify receipts. It's the kind of job I wanted..easy money. You kind of have to pay attention to what you're doing but other than that, it's good.

I feel better now that my schedule is filling up again.
Being a bum makes me overthink too much shit..
especially about him...
Slowly though I'm starting to realize that my close group of friends are really one of a kind. 
As long as I stay busy, I'm happier..

But yeah.. that's it for now. I felt weird since it had a while since I last blogged. More pics up soon to show you my adventures as a cheerleader, haha.

'til then, stay classy!♥

Friday, June 18, 2010

pointless nostalgia.

"The darkest moments of our lives are not to be buried and forgotten, 
rather they are a memory to be called upon for inspiration
to remind us of the unrelenting human spirit 
and our capacity to overcome the intolerable."
-Author Unknown.

..beautiful but easier said than done. At least it feels that way right now..
I'm in a situation that's out of my control. I put 110% and still didn't get what I wanted.
I guess it was doomed from the get-go, but I had faith that things would work. Still do.
It's hard to wait around for something you know may never happen but it's even harder when
you know it's everything you want.

I feel like I shouldn't wait because he's going to be gone in about a month. 
Probably forever.
The fucking military taking everyone away, lol.
I can't help but want to resort to my old ways and go back, but after the past two
run-ins with him, there's not much to go off of. 
Maybe it's my pride (and fear of rejection) talking but I've gone through enough to 
know when to just let things be. It's all in God's hands, I guess.
I wish He would've just given me this one thing cuz I normally don't ask for much.
I haven't even talked to this guy in exactly one month and 10 days and it's been a drag.
I'm never been the sappy, lovey-dovey type, but damn..
I've never wanted anything (or anyone) this bad..

Enough venting, lol.
Highlight in my life as of now?
* Officially employed again (Guitar Center)*
haha, something to keep my mind distracted. 

Looks like since I'm not getting the man I want, I'll have to settle for 
Toby as my main man. :) Below are some pics of him:
'til next time, stay classy!♥

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Thursday, June 10, 2010

pain is inevitable. suffering is optional.

After this post, I've decided that I'm gonna update at least weekly..
I have a lot on my mind but I don't know how much I'm willing to share just yet.
I'm still testing the waters.
Yeah, so I took a quiz that takes like a minute.
What you do is pick just a color from a group (the first one you see) and just keep doing so until there's none left.
You do this with 2-3 groups I believe, and the results are pretty dead on.
Weird huh?
I e-mailed the results to myself the rare times I've done it and it really surprises me how accurate this thing is.
The more recent results hit really close to home right now.
You should check it out yourself.
(Apparently having any sort of confidence means you're self-centered, lol)
Later for now; stay classy!♥

Generated on Thu, 10 Jun 2010 06:55:46 -0700. 
Your Existing Situation
 "Works hard and is actively pursuing her goals; however,
she feels unappreciated and doesn't see any reward for her efforts."
Your Stress Sources
"His normal flexible and stubborn attitude has become weakened because she
feels overworked, tired and as if she is stuck in a rut.
The situation seems helpless and is causing her to physically feel the strain,
she is searching for a solution but she is unable to make a decision on how to go about
making the changes."
Your Restrained Characteristics
"Self-centered, tends to take this personally and is easily offended,
which leaves her feeling isolated."
His confidence is low but she is unable to admit that is the reason for her
avoidance of conflict.
Feels it is a situation out of her control and she is making the best of it.
"Although she feels isolated and alone,
she is afraid of forming deep, meaningful relationships. Is conceited
and is easily offended."
Feels as if too many walls and obstacles
are standing in her way and that she is being forced to make compromises.
she needs to put her own needs on hold for the time being.
Your Desired Objective
 Feels hopeless and depressed and looking for some relief.
Wants to feel safe physically and emotionally and a chance to recover from
the depression that she feels.
Your Actual Problem
 "Feeling tension and stress brought on by situations which are out of her control,
leaves her feeling helpless, anxious, and in adequate.
In order to build her self-esteem back up, she looks to
others for recognition, respect, and encouragement.
This can be a problem since she tends to blame others for her shortcomings.
Searching for solutions that are geared toward her needs and self-consciousness."
Your Actual Problem #2
 "Fears she will be held back from achieving things she really wants,
leading her to search endlessly for satisfaction and become involved
in activities which are pointless."
Thank you for using

divider Pictures, Images and Photos

Generated on Thu, 08 Oct 2009 12:36:20 -0700.
Your Existing Situation
"Very social and needs a highly social environment with people who depend on her
in order to feel safe,"
she is a go-getter and can adapt to almost any situation. "
Your Stress Sources
Feeling empty and isolated from others and trying to bridge
the gap between herself and others.
Wants to live life to the fullest and experience as much as possible.
she cannot stand any restrictions or obstacles put in her way
and only longs to be free.
Your Restrained Characteristics
"Although she is able to find contentment through sexual activity,
she feels hopeless to change her problems and difficulties
and continues to make the best of what she has."
Is bothered when her needs and desires are misunderstood and
she feels there is no one to turn to or rely on.
her self-centered attitude can cause her to be easily offended.
Current events leave her feeling forced into compromise in order
to avoid being cut off from affection or future cooperation.
Your Desired Objective
Relies on love and friendship to bring her happiness.
she is in constant need for approval and this makes her willing to
help others in exchange for love and understanding.
she is open to new ideas as long as they are productive and interesting.
Your Actual Problem
"Feeling held back and restricted from moving forward,
looking for a solution that will give her more freedom and less obstacles."
Your Actual Problem #2
"Fears she will be held back from achieving things she really wants,
leading her to search endlessly for satisfaction and become involved in
activities which are pointless."

Thank you for using

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

first entry♥

it's 9:34am: Haven't slept.
Why? Racing thoughts.
Sometimes I wish my brain would just shut down.. :\
I've been wanting to start up one of these for a loonnngg time..
Wanted to do it before it was popular and the only reason I didn't
was because I didn't want to look like I had no life other than blogging, lol.
Now that it's more socially acceptable to document your life online, I figure I'd give it a shot.
Anyone who really knows me knows I love the title of my blog.
It's a contradicting way of pointing out the reality of things.
(I plan to get it on my body soon.)
Anyways, thanks for the love if you're here.
Shows you care enough to read, haha. :)

More posts up soon.
'til then, stay classy!♥