Wednesday, March 30, 2011

wahhhh! :(

Who knew kids would get so worked up over pencils? lol Today was my final lesson for Junior Achievement. I gotta say these kids grew on me. After the second lesson, they were always really welcoming to me and I really started to look forward to going. I wanted to give them candy bags but since there's so many rules about giving food to kids now-a-days so instead I bought them all things they could use: school supplies. Goodie bags of school supplies and boy did they go nuts. :\ I didn't know pencils and booklights were going to be so appreciated. It was like these kids were on crack, lol. I'm going to miss them. JA is definitely a great experience. I got a little sad when I had to turn in my kit. :( haha maybe I'll do it when I go back to Laredo.
Mrs. Jarrett's 2nd grade class (Evers Elementary)

'til next time, stay classy! ♥

Sunday, March 27, 2011

It's come to this..

No matter what anyone says, (other than deaths) the WORST feeling in the world is not being trusted by someone you love. I didn't wanna originally blog about this cuz I don't want my business out there but I really don't have other outlets to vent freely and without judgement. I hate hearing the advice I'm getting from people. Just because I'm young and "will have other options" doesn't mean for me to throw away someone incredible that I have right now. I am so unbelievably in love with my fiance..and just because we went on vacation and had a great time doesn't mean the problems went away. I have done EVERYTHING I can think of now to prove myself. I've been really nice to guys that didn't deserve it in my past but I feel Andrew is more than deserving of my efforts. I'm literally putting myself and my soul on the line and hope that God will get us both through this. I've never felt this vulnerable..I want to have hope that things will work out but I honestly don't know. All I know is the love that I have and want to share with him and him only. I know he still believes I'm that exceptional girl but I'm scared he's scared to trust it anymore. I want to spend the rest of my life showing Andrew he's made the right choice and that he never had to doubt it.

'til next time, stay classy! ♥

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

spring break in TN

    So I'm almost halfway through spring break in Memphis (well TECHNICALLY Bartlett). I've gotta say I think I'm enjoying myself more here than I would in the infamous SPI. It's different sure, but it's more realistic. You can't be gluttonous and crazy in your daily life. Here I'm just taking in the new faces, scenery, and interactions and seeing what other things life can bring. Most people forget the "break" part of "spring break"..instead of resting and forgetting about school, they abuse their bodies and half of the time they're still recovering from their so-called "break". I'm taking this R&R time to get acquainted with my future family, and I couldn't be more pleased with the turnout. Andrew's family and friends have all been more than hospitable and it's great to finally put the faces to names and see who my fiance has been surrounding himself with. His whole circle really explains how he's become the great man that he is.

   I was incredibly nervous this wouldn't even happen though since we BARELY made our first flight and our second flight was delayed an hour. It HAD to be me, right? Anyways, after all that early morning drama Andrew and I found out that we are staying here till Sunday...we assumer we were leaving Friday. Again, our luck. haha but yeah. Family introductions were made Monday and last night we went to New Albany, Mississippi and hung out with Mike, Jenny, Greg, Shannon, Jaime, Mark, and Jonathan..all Andrew's friends and all great people.I haven't really had any complaints about this trip...and my scrutiny ALWAYS finds something to complain about. 

   Today (Wednesday) we went to watch The Adjustment Bureau and I kind of fell in love with it. I guess that always happens though when you feel you can relate. Basically the whole conflict of the story was that Emily Blunt and Matt Damon getting together would ultimately ruin their individual destinies. Matt Damon's character was told if he is with Emily Blunt's character, he will fill the emptiness he's felt his whole life and give up his fate as President and hers as a dance legend. Most of what Andrew and I have had miscommunications with is how he feels I still need attention..and I did. I've always felt that anyone I've let in enough (or anyone who can interpret my writing style) can sense that I've always had this void in my life that was never quite filled which caused me to seem emotionless at times. The way I used to try to fill that void was wrong and I can admit that. However, Andrew has changed everything. My whole life I've felt this chronic pressure and stress and he honestly pacifies it. No one's ever been able to do that. I think I stress out too much about losing him because I'm not used to feeling this free. I've never imagined I'd be doing half of the things I'm doing now, but since I've met him, I feel like my life isn't real. No one can make me feel as good as Andrew does with just a stare, a sincere compliment, or a random kiss on the cheek. It's really quite overwhelming at times. I would pick no other place to be during my break than anywhere Andrew is...I could've been in Laredo or Antarctica. Loving someone this much is something I never would've imagined possible.

Below are pictures of us on the way to downtown Memphis earlier today. We got on a carriage ride too. :) and OF COURSE, a picture of my baby with HIS baby, Greta (who hates me, lol)

till next time, stay classy! (and happy Spring Break to all) ♥

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Monday, March 7, 2011

new goals = new plans

   So today was my first lesson with my kids at Mrs. Jarrett's 2nd grade class at Evers Elementary School. I was super antsy right before walked in but apparently these kids recognize me from the initial meet and greet so that eased me up a bit and after the set-up for my lesson is when I really got comfortable.
   I have always thought teaching would be very suitable for me. However, I feel like teaching doesn't make the kind of money I'd want. Part of the reason I decided to do JA was so I could explore this and maybe see if I would actually seriously consider. There's probably a lot of other careers where my intelligence could be applied in but the benefits of being a teacher have always interested me: good hours, weekends and summers off, and the flexibility to be creative with learning.
   I've decided I'm moving back to Laredo after this semester. Initially, I was staying in San Antonio for a year but things have come up....I'M ENGAGED :) and well the experience here hasn't lived up to the experience I imagined in my mind. San Antonio is a great city, but it will always be here. For now, I'm gonna focus on me and finish school and get closer to loved ones. I want to make an effort to bridge the gap that has been there for soo long. I WILL leave Laredo.. but I'll have to wait a little longer than I thought. It's not just a "me" now; it's an "us".
-'til next time, stay classy♥