Monday, August 23, 2010

a new slot to my bucket list.

I live in a city of comfort.
I'm not saying that's a bad thing..unless you strive on spontaneity.
There is a difference between structure and routine in life.
I love structure and purpose, but not so much routine.
Some routine is mandatory in life and I understand that but
I need a lot of stimulation because my mind travels at 2,165,463,232 mph.
I have a lot of ideas and no least not here.
I write..that's more like therapy though.

I hate to say it but if you don't party in Laredo, you're pretty much out of the loop.
You either settle and become like everyone else here or leave and do your own thing.
I think I still have a lot of growing up to do and since here, everyone kinda stays at the same level, no one is gonna push me.
I'm not saying I need the push but when you're around driven and positive people,
you tend to see positive results. It's a logical correlation.
If you hang out with smarter kids, your grades are higher.
If you hang out with trendy kids, you're gonna be more "image conscious".
Get the picture?

I'm not narrow-minded at all. In fact, I think I'm too open-minded sometimes, which is why
I want to branch out and discover my own set of solid beliefs. 
Maybe it's the Libra in me that has found both sides to almost everything but that leaves everyone else understood.
What about me? I've tried to fix everyone else for so long
that I kind of lost sight of myself. I was used to being someone's rock whether it was
my friends or boys that have come and gone. I think it's time I really get the space
space I deserve to evaluate everything I want for myself.

Next summer seems like the appropriate time to try something new because after that,
I'll have to tie down and focus on school to make sure I graduate on time.
I know probably only like 1.23 people read this, so I'm comfortable writing here 
about something I was keeping to myself to prevent the typical "monkey-see, monkey-do"
effect that is so contagious in Laredo.
I'm studying abroad next summer and I want to do it alone...
More money on top of my already pending obligations..but I think it'll be worth it.

-til next time, stay classy♥

p.s.- I miss him more and more as each day goes by.
I think it's because I'm becoming less and less bitter.
It's a balancing act, I suppose. ugh.