Friday, July 16, 2010


Just when I think I'm accepting the circumstance, he comes back into my life.
I mean, I wanted that.
I wanted to know it wasn't just me that was still thinking of him.
I wanted to know the whole "relationship" wasn't just a figment of my imagination.
He's back..but now what? Back to the endless mindfuck. 
He'll be gone again on the 27th.
I have a little something up my sleeve for my goodbye.
Luckily, him getting a hold of me allows me to go through with it.
Usually I warn him beforehand that I have a surprise coming his way but this one's gonna be unexpected. 
I think it'll leave a bigger impact that way.
Can't say what it is here though, hehe.

I take comfort in knowing that HE came back to ME for once but that's not enough.
What does he want? You come back to stay, not to leave again.
Peace of mind maybe? Even then, that's slightly unfair to me.
Putting me through heartbreak again just for his satisfaction. 
I mean, I did get what I want but I knew once I'd get that, I'd want more.
I'm used to him disappointing me (as horrible as that sounds) and now that he did 
something right, it really makes me wonder what his intentions are when he leaves.

I think he did something big (and very uncharacteristic)..but he resorted back to his typical self. 
People say I shouldn't settle..and that's true.
I have plenty of other guys who give me more attention and who will
value me more but it doesn't really mean much unless it's coming from him. 
He's a real puzzle♥..

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