Thursday, August 18, 2011

can't bring you back..

I tried with every pore in my body, every inch of my soul and I couldn't.
I cannot believe it. He took my body then erased me.
I am both full of emotion yet numb..
I both hate him for what he's done and said to push me away
and yet I love him for what he used to say and do to keep me.
I miss his willingness and efforts to show me how much he loved me..
Simply put: I miss his love...more than anything else in this entire world.

This song is exactly how my relationship with Andrew went...

One thousand words would not bring you back
I know because i tried
Neither would one thousand tears
I know because I cried

You left behind a broken heart
happy memories too
But I did not want memories...

I wanted you...

This poem is exactly how I feel.
I love him.. 
and as the emptiness consumes me, he's writing about the hell he's in for still talking to me..
My identity is lost because my identity became being his.
I am in an unrequited love so deep that even in my dreams, I can't escape.
I am lost..I am completely drained.. I am broken...I am angry..I am sad..
at myself, at Andrew, and partly at God. 
He is the One I need and I don't feel Him around trying to help me.
I need Him...I kept trying cuz I thought He was rooting for us and saw what I saw.
...patience is both a virtue and a curse.

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