Saturday, February 5, 2011

elaboration on 2011..so far.


This is the least cheesy one I could find. It's from the Bahamas, lol.

JA; so when I mentioned in the last post that I had more short-term goals that I was pursuing, this was one of them. I'm kind of nervous but it should be beneficial. I get a full-letter grade bump on one of my classes, get something good on my resume, and help children make our economy better. Fuck it, seems like there are no real negatives. Even the time commitment isn't bad: only five 45-minute lessons that can be done anytime before April. Seems easy enough but the whole working with kids thing is what's getting me nervous. I've never really dealt with children except for when I was in charge for Larriette Kiddie Camps. This involves more involvement with schools and teachers though. I think it's a step in the right direction.

I really miss dancing. I'm taking a ballet class at NWV but it doesn't seem like enough. I miss performing, choreographing, and all of that good stuff. I'm not gifted enough to major in it and make an amazing career out of it and I realize that, but it's definitely the only thing that's really made me feel anything. It's the visuals added to music and music has helped me through the roughest points in my life. It's the only thing that doesn't make me feel numb. I want to get back in it again and am looking into that too. I also want to get in shape, write more, practice faith more, and just get my creative juices flowing. I think I need it.

Okay, enough blabbering for now.

'til next time, stay classy!♥

Friday, February 4, 2011

2011..so far.

So with this new year, I figured I'd do a couple of things:
1) change the title of my blog
    *"change is the only constant" to "my beautiful disaster"
2) change the look of my blog
    * I was going for a crisp, clean vibe with colors, font, and design.
and 3) actually blog more.

I'm not going to lie and say that everything's been a dream, but it's better. I'm currently living in San Antonio and although the move-in process wasn't what I imagined, it definitely feels good to live in an actual thriving city, filled with amazing architecture and multi-cultural diversity.

While getting used to a big city hasn't been an overnight process, I'm enjoying the space from my parents. Just because you leave the nest doesn't mean the problems go away..and a recent visit
couldn't have proven that to be more true. I miss home but not the dysfunction of it...I miss my brothers.

The situation with my roommate isn't a nightmare, but I must admit it saddens me a bit since  I don't see her in the same light anymore. I think before we clicked so well because our goals are the same. Now, we still have the same long-term goals, but I'm just also setting a lot of short-terms ones that have altered
both my personality and choices. I see a lot of my old self in her and it's kinda like a love/hate sort of thing.

School was surprisingly overwhelming. Even the community colleges here blow Laredo's out of the water. Living on my own is definitely showing me how much I've changed from that peppy optimist to the somewhat cautious realist. I'm seeing who I really am without the supervision of my parents, and I gotta say some of it is surprising. Some of what they have taught me has both served me well/ haunted me.

Things with A have been steady..both a good and bad steady. We're back together but living in different cities has brought a new challenging dimension to the relationship. I must say a long-distance relationship is a lot harder than I thought. It all comes down to trust. It's there on my side..but we're working on it on his. I mean, I don't think I have hurt him but I think what he's doing is more prevention than anything. Despite the arguments though, he's still my rock. I was involved in a car accident and he showed me the side I love to see. I don't want to say the accident was a good thing but I see the good in it. It brought us back to the times before the fights...when he was my knight in shining armor. He really is my best friend  despite us being two very different people.

Anyways, to wrap this lengthy entry, I'd just like to summarize what
the purpose of this was:
1) an objective update on my life as of Jan.
2) a subjective update as well..pointing out both the disappointments and the blessings that have been thrown my way so far.

'til next time, stay classy! ♥