spring break in TN

    So I'm almost halfway through spring break in Memphis (well TECHNICALLY Bartlett). I've gotta say I think I'm enjoying myself more here than I would in the infamous SPI. It's different sure, but it's more realistic. You can't be gluttonous and crazy in your daily life. Here I'm just taking in the new faces, scenery, and interactions and seeing what other things life can bring. Most people forget the "break" part of "spring break"..instead of resting and forgetting about school, they abuse their bodies and half of the time they're still recovering from their so-called "break". I'm taking this R&R time to get acquainted with my future family, and I couldn't be more pleased with the turnout. Andrew's family and friends have all been more than hospitable and it's great to finally put the faces to names and see who my fiance has been surrounding himself with. His whole circle really explains how he's become the great man that he is.

   I was incredibly nervous this wouldn't even happen though since we BARELY made our first flight and our second flight was delayed an hour. It HAD to be me, right? Anyways, after all that early morning drama Andrew and I found out that we are staying here till Sunday...we assumer we were leaving Friday. Again, our luck. haha but yeah. Family introductions were made Monday and last night we went to New Albany, Mississippi and hung out with Mike, Jenny, Greg, Shannon, Jaime, Mark, and Jonathan..all Andrew's friends and all great people.I haven't really had any complaints about this trip...and my scrutiny ALWAYS finds something to complain about. 

   Today (Wednesday) we went to watch The Adjustment Bureau and I kind of fell in love with it. I guess that always happens though when you feel you can relate. Basically the whole conflict of the story was that Emily Blunt and Matt Damon getting together would ultimately ruin their individual destinies. Matt Damon's character was told if he is with Emily Blunt's character, he will fill the emptiness he's felt his whole life and give up his fate as President and hers as a dance legend. Most of what Andrew and I have had miscommunications with is how he feels I still need attention..and I did. I've always felt that anyone I've let in enough (or anyone who can interpret my writing style) can sense that I've always had this void in my life that was never quite filled which caused me to seem emotionless at times. The way I used to try to fill that void was wrong and I can admit that. However, Andrew has changed everything. My whole life I've felt this chronic pressure and stress and he honestly pacifies it. No one's ever been able to do that. I think I stress out too much about losing him because I'm not used to feeling this free. I've never imagined I'd be doing half of the things I'm doing now, but since I've met him, I feel like my life isn't real. No one can make me feel as good as Andrew does with just a stare, a sincere compliment, or a random kiss on the cheek. It's really quite overwhelming at times. I would pick no other place to be during my break than anywhere Andrew is...I could've been in Laredo or Antarctica. Loving someone this much is something I never would've imagined possible.

Below are pictures of us on the way to downtown Memphis earlier today. We got on a carriage ride too. :) and OF COURSE, a picture of my baby with HIS baby, Greta (who hates me, lol)

till next time, stay classy! (and happy Spring Break to all) ♥

new addition to blog :)

  

  

new goals = new plans

   So today was my first lesson with my kids at Mrs. Jarrett's 2nd grade class at Evers Elementary School. I was super antsy right before walked in but apparently these kids recognize me from the initial meet and greet so that eased me up a bit and after the set-up for my lesson is when I really got comfortable.
   I have always thought teaching would be very suitable for me. However, I feel like teaching doesn't make the kind of money I'd want. Part of the reason I decided to do JA was so I could explore this and maybe see if I would actually seriously consider. There's probably a lot of other careers where my intelligence could be applied in but the benefits of being a teacher have always interested me: good hours, weekends and summers off, and the flexibility to be creative with learning.
   I've decided I'm moving back to Laredo after this semester. Initially, I was staying in San Antonio for a year but things have come up....I'M ENGAGED :) and well the experience here hasn't lived up to the experience I imagined in my mind. San Antonio is a great city, but it will always be here. For now, I'm gonna focus on me and finish school and get closer to loved ones. I want to make an effort to bridge the gap that has been there for soo long. I WILL leave Laredo.. but I'll have to wait a little longer than I thought. It's not just a "me" now; it's an "us".
-'til next time, stay classy♥

elaboration on 2011..so far.

This is the least cheesy one I could find. It's from the Bahamas, lol.

JA; so when I mentioned in the last post that I had more short-term goals that I was pursuing, this was one of them. I'm kind of nervous but it should be beneficial. I get a full-letter grade bump on one of my classes, get something good on my resume, and help children make our economy better. Fuck it, seems like there are no real negatives. Even the time commitment isn't bad: only five 45-minute lessons that can be done anytime before April. Seems easy enough but the whole working with kids thing is what's getting me nervous. I've never really dealt with children except for when I was in charge for Larriette Kiddie Camps. This involves more involvement with schools and teachers though. I think it's a step in the right direction.

I really miss dancing. I'm taking a ballet class at NWV but it doesn't seem like enough. I miss performing, choreographing, and all of that good stuff. I'm not gifted enough to major in it and make an amazing career out of it and I realize that, but it's definitely the only thing that's really made me feel anything. It's the visuals added to music and music has helped me through the roughest points in my life. It's the only thing that doesn't make me feel numb. I want to get back in it again and am looking into that too. I also want to get in shape, write more, practice faith more, and just get my creative juices flowing. I think I need it.

Okay, enough blabbering for now.

'til next time, stay classy!♥

2011..so far.

So with this new year, I figured I'd do a couple of things:
1) change the title of my blog
    *"change is the only constant" to "my beautiful disaster"
2) change the look of my blog
    * I was going for a crisp, clean vibe with colors, font, and design.
and 3) actually blog more.

I'm not going to lie and say that everything's been a dream, but it's better. I'm currently living in San Antonio and although the move-in process wasn't what I imagined, it definitely feels good to live in an actual thriving city, filled with amazing architecture and multi-cultural diversity.

While getting used to a big city hasn't been an overnight process, I'm enjoying the space from my parents. Just because you leave the nest doesn't mean the problems go away..and a recent visit
couldn't have proven that to be more true. I miss home but not the dysfunction of it...I miss my brothers.

The situation with my roommate isn't a nightmare, but I must admit it saddens me a bit since  I don't see her in the same light anymore. I think before we clicked so well because our goals are the same. Now, we still have the same long-term goals, but I'm just also setting a lot of short-terms ones that have altered
both my personality and choices. I see a lot of my old self in her and it's kinda like a love/hate sort of thing.

School was surprisingly overwhelming. Even the community colleges here blow Laredo's out of the water. Living on my own is definitely showing me how much I've changed from that peppy optimist to the somewhat cautious realist. I'm seeing who I really am without the supervision of my parents, and I gotta say some of it is surprising. Some of what they have taught me has both served me well/ haunted me.

Things with A have been steady..both a good and bad steady. We're back together but living in different cities has brought a new challenging dimension to the relationship. I must say a long-distance relationship is a lot harder than I thought. It all comes down to trust. It's there on my side..but we're working on it on his. I mean, I don't think I have hurt him but I think what he's doing is more prevention than anything. Despite the arguments though, he's still my rock. I was involved in a car accident and he showed me the side I love to see. I don't want to say the accident was a good thing but I see the good in it. It brought us back to the times before the fights...when he was my knight in shining armor. He really is my best friend  despite us being two very different people.

Anyways, to wrap this lengthy entry, I'd just like to summarize what
the purpose of this was:
1) an objective update on my life as of Jan.
2) a subjective update as well..pointing out both the disappointments and the blessings that have been thrown my way so far.

'til next time, stay classy! ♥